Don Imus. You know… “Imus in the morniiiiiiiiiiinng”. UGH. I can’t stand this guy. Mike watches his show sometimes in the bedroom we share, and the voice that I cannot stand always wakes me up and pisses me off, putting me in a foul mood for the next few hours. Wait, let me clarify: Imus’ voice, not Mike’s voice, lol.

If you’re reading this from somewhere far away from the US, like MARS maybe, and you don’t know who Imus is, he’s got a “news” show that airs for three hours every morning on the MSNBC channel. Only about a third of it is news, with the rest of it being his retarded opinions and his brother and cronies sitting on the sidelines agreeing with everything he says. He’s a 65 year old cowboy wannabe. He wears what looks like a well-used cowboy hat, but I’d bet that he used part of his millions of dollars to make a new hat look old. The same millions that he used to get that pretty young wife who bore him a son in his ripe old age. He lives on a ranch see, so he must think the old cowboy hat and ugly cowboy clothes make him look young and cool. Ok, I can’t talk bad about the ranch, because he welcomes visits from children with cancer who need a getaway. It is a working cattle ranch, but you can bet your ass he never worked on it.

Ok, so now that I got that out of the way, I’ll tell you what made me LOL on his show this morning. Besides the ugly cowboy clothes and the too long hair, the other thing that makes him so unappealing is that he is ALWAYS chewing gum. Smack Smack Smack. You never see him not chewing gum. Well this morning he said that it was Nicorette gum. Orange flavored. “Oh, quitting smoking?” I thought. Well theres one thing, the ONLY thing, that I have in common with this man. Here’s the funny part. He said that last night he ran out of Nicorette gum, and that he went into every drugstore near him, wild-eyed, looking for some, but everyone was out. So then he announced that if anyone had it in stock to call him and he would buy it all. Then he went on to say that you’re supposed to chew the gum for maybe 6 months, but he’s been on it for 15 years. FIFTEEN YEARS!!!!!!!! Another reason for me to call him an idiot.