So, there’s a Chinese man that owns a convenience store across the street from me. I’ve spoken of him before. He’s the one that chased after the two punks that robbed his store awhile back, got shot at, and still chased them, until the police came and got them and he got his money back. That alone makes me think he’s either brave or crazy. After several more visits over there though, to buy various items, I have to go with the latter.

He speaks just a little English, and his accent is heavy, it’s very hard to understand him sometimes. For instance:

I’m buying milk:
Him: You only have one darrah?
Me: (Thinking he’s saying DOLLAR) No, I have 10.
Him: (Eyes big) Ohhhhh ok.

Three days later:
Him: You have justa one darrah?
Me: No, I have about 7.
Him: (Eyes big) Ohhhhh ok.

The next week:
Him: How many you hava darrah, one??
Me: Ummm, I’m using my debit card.
Him: That fine.

The next time:
Him: You hava just one DATTAH? (He’s been practicing)
Me: (OH he’s saying DAUGHTER!) OH! I have TWO daughters.
Him: TWO???.
Me: Two. (holding up fingers)

Some time later:
Him: You have dattah, justa one?
Me: (He’s only seen the one) No, I also have a grown daughter.
Him: A GRAND DATTAH????? (as if my 14 year old has a child, shocked)
Me: No No, GROWN…. (holding up hand as tall as me) GROWN daughter
Him: OHHHH GROWNNN OHHHHH

Very next day:
Him: You only have one dattah?
Me: (I thought I covered this) No, I have two, one is 21, she doesn’t live at home.
Him: OH! TWO DOTTAHS! NICE FAMIRY
Me: Yes, Thank you! (He GETS it!!!!)

Today:
Him: You have one dattah only?
Me: (This is the twilight zone??) Ok, yes, you’re right! ONE DAUGHTER!
Him: (Smiling)
Me: So how many kids do you have?
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