It usually is when people either start dying on ya or talking about it.
First, my dad called me. He’s 73 and has it in his thick skull that he won’t live much longer. I think he will, even though he’s battled colon cancer twice and skin cancer several times. He’s not sick now, but he’s making plans about burial, funeral, will, etc. I hate to hear about that stuff and told him so.
Then, I found out my mom, who’s manic depressive… she’s always either all the way up or all the way down… is down again. Her boyfriend called and told me that she hasn’t eaten or talked in four days. My youngest (but still older) brother will go today and make her go to the doctor. My mother also has a history of mental illness.
THEN, my oldest brother Wayne called me for the third time this week to tell me he loves me. Ok, that would be fine. Except one thing. None of my siblings have ever said those words to each other. Not that we don’t love each other, just that we’ve spent the past 40 years not knowing how to say it to each other. So now all of a sudden Wayne wants to say it three times in the past week?
Well I called my sister ask her what’s up with that, she said he had called her and told her the same. She thinks he’s dying soon. Wayne has a lot of health problems: Hepatitis, Alcoholism, Liver problems from the previous two, and a crazy blood disease that makes his skin break open and bleed from the merest bump against something. He had a job with no medical insurance before, and he took another job with insurance just so that he could get some treatment for these problems.
He had to wait 6 months at this new job to qualify for the insurance, but as soon as he got it he went to visit a doctor. Now my sister tells me that he only saw the doctor twice, and has quit his job and started calling everyone to say I love you… repeatedly.
What the hell??? Quit his job after finally seeing a doctor for treatment, then all these I love you’s? What? Did they tell him it’s too late? He HAS lost a huge amount of weight lately and is getting very tired-looking.
It’s also very sad when I think about the fact that I’m now at the age where some family members will inevitably start dying, such as uncles, aunts (I’ve lost several already), and my parents. But it’s too soon to lose a brother. All five of us are in our 40’s. I really miss when we were all young and healthy and carefree, including our parents.
All this info in one day has got me really worried and upset. Today sucked.
(I just realized that to say “today sucked” in past tense at 4:00 am seems kinda odd. But remember, its the end of my day)
I usually don’t talk about things this personal on my blog… but who can I be honest with if not people I’ve never seen face to face? (cept Diane)



Hang in there. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
The first time I went home to visit my parents after we moved back to the states, my mom went through all their “stuff” with me; financial stuff, deeds, etc. I’m an only child too so when they go, that’s it. The hubby’s parents are already gone, and there was such a shitload of drama over his stepdad; the one he called “Daddy” while referring to his father as “my father–Joe.”
Anyway, sorry to hear about all of that. Sucks getting older doesn’t it?
It sure is DL!
Thanks Tim… by the way tim, I posted a pretty good comment to one of your posts on your blog a week or so ago, and I guess it never went through. I was just following up on it but not there. and also, You have a typo in the link from your name, there’s an extra P in it and it takes you to somewhere that’s not your site… took me a few minutes to realize what was up. Also I wanted to tell you, wow you sure have a lot of haters commenting there?
LOL no wonder I couldn’t get back to Tim’s site. I was going to blogroll it but I couldn’t get there. LOL I think I shall give it another go without the extra “p”.
Both my parents died years ago when I was in my 20’s but the memories don’t get less painful as time goes by. It’s what happens to us all after taxes.
I’ve had a few scares with Mel (my brother is also named Mel)so I know how you feel about Wayne. Hope things start looking up soon.
Mel, I’m just a new guy here, all I can say is that’s a lot on your plate. Without a doubt, growing older brings us to the reality of life, there is an end. But I might be shell-shocked were I you today. I’m sorry.
The thing that struck me that you said is what I’ve often thought about too, these are all people that were “young, healthy and carefree”. When I think of my brothers and sisters it is almost always in that way, even though it is not true today.
Wow, that just sucks Mel. That is a lot to take in regardless if it’s in one day or not.
I hate to think about those things too, but it’s a part of life, and it really sucks to know somebody close to you is about to pass on.
Be strong.
Thanks everyone for your wisdom and nice words.
It’s definitely hard being the age we are now. If you’re not dealing with your own parents getting frail and sickly, you’re supporting a friend who is going through it. You can’t take things for granted like you used to do.
Being this age isn’t all bad, though. There are a lot of positives too. Like being more sure of who you are and what you want out of life (at least, some of the time), and not being as afraid to say the things that are on your mind (like your brother did when he called you).
Staying strong through what life throws your way isn’t always easy, so admit when you’re feeling weak and ask for support from those who love you.
Mel: I have one of your comments posted. You’re right about the haters, one reason why I moderate, if you know what I mean. I also have a lot of supporters too, if you read regularly. Hey, when you tell the truth, people flock and want to rip it apart. What can I say? anyway, the site is christmatters.blogspot.com
Dear Mel,
My prayers are with you and your family.
Tom
Thanks
[…] Have you heard of it, been on it, or know someone who has? If so, tell me about it. This post is actually an update to a post a made awhile back on my old blog. You may remember, about my brother thinking he was dying? […]