when the one of the security guards (who is quite ancient) phoned my extension to tell me that I had a flat tire. Then before I could respond, he said “I don’t know how to change a flat.” So in other words, don’t ask him for help. I said GREAT THANKS (mumbled for nothing) and hung up the phone. I do know how to change a flat, but would rather not, it takes me forever. SO I called my husband, it was about 4 am. Told him I had a flat, and would he be kind enough to come and change it, that I would be finished working in about half an hour.

On my way out, I passed the OTHER ancient security guard, and before I could say anything he said “Bummer” but continued to sit there on his fat tired ass. No help there either. So I went outside, where I found the first ancient security guard watching my husband change my tire. And do you believe this? He had the nerve to say to my husband “We would have helped her change it if she needed it.” I flat out said, “Don’t lie like that Bobby, you just told me that you didn’t even know how, before I could even ask. In fact, so that I wouldn’t ask.” OF course he tried to say I misunderstood him. I don’t see how many ways you can misunderstand “I don’t know how to change a tire.” Ok then, I asked him, “Then what did you say and/or mean.” He just stuttered for a minute and pretended to be offended and went back inside.

Asshole.

This guy has no business being a security guard anyway. Especially in the middle of the night in dangerous downtown, where he is SUPPOSED to automatically walk every lady to her car but never does unless she asks him to. He’s over 65, he’s had a hip replacement and limps, he has emphysema, and everytime he has “inside duty” (they’re supposed to switch every hour) I’ve seen him asleep behind the front desk with his feet up, where he is SUPPOSED to be watching the monitor. I know about his health problems because he is sure to tell everyone who will listen to him for more than a minute.

I used to think, poor guy, it’s probably the only job he can get at his age, and he probably has no other income. But one night we got on the topic of incomes as I was leaving and he stopped me to run his mouth, and he told me that he makes 3000 a month from retirement funds and social security. Well, I’ll be damned. I don’t feel sorry for him anymore. In fact, I rather despise him these days.